Thursday Funny????

[puppetmaster]

Correct again Recre.

When the wife and I went through the tunstiles at Derwent Park I handed over ?22 and said "two please" What did the fella on the tunstiles say?

"Forwards or Backs?"

[havenbeachbum]

HWL I'll give it to you although my answer was forwards or backs.

Did you hear about the Town fan who phoned dave Rotherham one day and said "I'm a lifelong supporter of Workington Town and  I've had some luck on the lottery and I would like to buy you a new player" Dave said " thanks very much" and the town fan said??

Answers please

[haven09]

i forgot neil frazer already plays for us

[HWL]

HWL I'll give it to you although my answer was forwards or backs.

Did you hear about the Town fan who phoned dave Rotherham one day and said "I'm a lifelong supporter of Workington Town and  I've had some luck on the lottery and I would like to buy you a new player" Dave said " thanks very much" and the town fan said??

Answers please

----"and I'm hoping to win another tenner next week too!"

[havenbeachbum]

Correct HWL " No trouble at all Mr Rotheram and if I get 3 numbers up again this week I'll buy you another player" Sorry about these crap jokes lads but I've been listening to Des O'Connor on Countdown.

I phoned Derwent Park to find out what time the match kicked off. They told me 3 o clock. I said I dont finish work till half 2 so I won't get there till 10 to 3 will I still get in?

 What was his reply?

[HMS HAVEN]

of course you can sir . but only if can weave your way through fans already leaving. 

[recre]

Get in, if you bring you're boots you'll probably be in the starting 13.

[i hate town]

you dont need to come early mate. five to with the rest of the lads is orite

[parton.marra]

Haven beachbum, the old uns are the best uns, you are really showing your age now marra. I was in Tesco yesterday though and I saw Des talking to the Town Chairman and he was saying he had got a stone of tatties for Dave Rotheram - I don't know about you, but I don't think thats a bad swap!

[havenbeachbum]

Alright Partonlad you asked for it. Dave Rotheram was taking his team into Lancashire for their first game. They stopped at Forton services for lunch. Dave walked up the counter with all his troops trailing on behind. The lady at the counter said " hello Dave we havent seen you for a while ,what are you having?" "I'll have steak " said Dave "what about your vegetables ?" said the lady " just give them a jam sandwich each said Dave"

[i hate town]

wheyyyyyyyyy the old uns are the best. nice one

[parton.marra]

Dave Rotheram was driving into Derwenrt Park, when he accidentally ran over the Chairmans beloved dog and killed it. Panicing he grabbed it and ran down to the river bank to bury it. Whilst digging he unearthed an old lamp. He rubbed off the dirt and HEY PRESTO A  Genie appeared. 'Your wish is my command master' said the Genie. 'Please' begged Big Dave'bring the dog back to life'. The Genie looked sad 'I can do ANYTHING you want master -  EXCEPT bring animals back to life'. Dave thought for a moment, smiled and said 'ok, bring the 2nd division title to Derwent Park. The Genie hesitated, rubbed his chin and said - 'lets have another look at that dog!!

That one is as old as you Beachbum.

[havenbeachbum]

Yeah Partonlad. I have heard you told that joke at Tom Mitchells celebration party after he  had just been appointed chairman. You didn't get many laughs back in those days either did you? Or so my granda tells me.

What about the Workington fan who was on a round world trip celebtating Towns win over an Allerdale ameteur select team, when the ship was hit by a typhoon in the Indian Ocean. The ship went down and all but the lone town fan perished, ( most of them eaten alive by sharks) When interviewed on television and asked how he had managed to survive shark infested waters for 7 days he replied??

Answers please

[puppetmaster]

try this one then!...............

A family of Town supporters head out shopping one Saturday before Christmas.

While in a sport shop, the son picks up a Whitehaven top and says to his sister, "I've decided I'm going to be a haven supporter and I'd like this top for Christmas!"

The sister is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother."

Off goes the little lad, with haven top in hand and finds his mother. "Mum," "Yes, son ?" "I've decided I'm going to be a haven fan and I'd like this top for Christmas."

The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your father."

Off he goes with the haven top in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes, son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a haven fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas."

The father is outraged at this, promptly whacks his son round the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later, they are all back in the car heading home. The father turns to the son and says, "Son, I hope you've learned an important lesson today?" The son turns to his father and says, "Yes, Father, I have." Father says, "Good son, and what is it?"

The son replies "I've only been a haven fan for an hour and already I hate you Town bastards!!!"
 

[HavenMascot]

got a joke for you


one day snow white and the seven dwarfs went for a walk and they fell down a hole


it was 12 hours before anyone noticed then they sent a rescue team out


the rescurer said is everyone allright then a little voice said workington is going to beat whitehaven



the rescurer said to the other rescurer dopey is still alive then