Thursday Funny????

[fluffy]

got a joke for you


one day snow white and the seven dwarfs went for a walk and they fell down a hole


it was 12 hours before anyone noticed then they sent a rescue team out


the rescurer said is everyone allright then a little voice said workington is going to beat whitehaven



the rescurer said to the other rescurer dopey is still alive then

whey thats a klass one !!! lol 

[Keith]

A couple from Whitehaven were driving on the M6 when they got pulled over for speeding.    The wife was the driver.
The officer said, "Did you know you were speeding?"
The wife hard of hearing turned to her husband and said, "What did he say?"
The husband said, "He says you were speeding".
The officer then said, "May I see your licence?"
Again the wife turned to her husband and said, "What did he say?"
The husband said, " He wants your licence".
The wife got her licence out of her bag and handed it to the officer.
The officer then said, " I see you are from Whitehaven.   Ispent some time up there and once went out on a blind date with the ugliest woman you ever met"
The wife turned to her husband and said, "What did he say?"
The husband said, "He thinks he knows you"   

[havenbeachbum]

Why is nobody responding tommy brilliant jokes? The answer to the last one was that the shipwreck survivor said he just kept shouting "Workington for the league title" knowing that nobody would swallow that.

What about the young Bosnian/Serb winger that Town signed. He scored a hat trick on his debut (albeit against Moorclose under 13s blindschool) He was so excited he asked Dave Rotheram if he could phone home to tell the wife. When the wife picked up the phone he could hardly contain his excitement. He said "I scored a hatrick today and all of the Town fans carried me shoulder high around the pitch, they think I'm brilliant." It's alright for you" said the wife. "While you've been enjoying yourself playing rugby our house has just been burned down. Our guard dogs have been killed. The car has been stolen and your 3 daughters and myself have been raped. What are you going to do about it? He said well I'm sorry to hear the bad news but there's nothing I can do about it. It's not my fault" She said "it flaming well is your fault. It was you who moved us onto Salterbeck"

[parton.marra]

In Whitehavens first full season, 1948 - Havenbeach bum , by then already a veteran of the local amateur game, came very close to signing on! When presented with the pen to sign on the dotted line, he couldn't get it to write, no matter how hard he tried. 'The pen won't write' , he protested, 'theres no ink coming out, I can't sign the form!'. 'There's nowt wrong with the pen lad', said the chairman 'just put your weight on it'. So Beachbum wrote 17stone, 4 pounds!

He was a lot lighter in those days.

[Keith]

A Town fan and a Haven fan both applied for the same job at Sellafield and the shift foreman had to set them an aptitude test.

Both were sat down and given a paper with 10 questions to answer.

After a while the papers were collected in and the answers scrutinised.

The shift manager then approached the Haven fan and said, "Thank you for coming and you both got 9 correct answers but we have decided to give the job to the Town fan"

The Haven fan said, "Why would you do that.   It's a job here in Copeland, I'm from Copeland, I should get the job."

The foreman said, "We made our decision not on the correct answers but on the question that both of you missed out".

The Haven fan asked, "How can one incorrect answer be better than another?"

The foreman replied, "Simple.   The Town fan put down for question 5, "I don't know" and you put down "Neither do I".   

[havenbeachbum]

Oh dear Keith, and they say I tell old jokes. Jesus told that one at the last supper. As for you Partonlad get your facts right it was a goose feather quill pen and I might have been 17 and a half stone but it was all rippling muscle