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18+ joke i found really funny

Offline chocbluegold

  • Haven Legend
  • *******
    • Posts: 5350
on: 20 Sep 2011, 08:41:09 am
The other day I was in an empty pub having a quiet beer by myself.

The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid
Eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an
Hourglass figure

Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top.. I could
See she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on
Show.

After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I
Taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close
To me and sitting down.

She said 'Hi', and I said 'Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took
My hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and
Down.

'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. ....

'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I'll bet you've
Never felt this good before.'

'Well, I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked
To play for the school 1st. XV in the Public School Finals in front of
A crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.'

I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would
Get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the
Front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my
Hand into her pert, perfect breast.

'How do you feel now,' she purred.

'OK' I replied.

Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt
THIS good before!'

Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that
Game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the
Match The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field,
Where I caught it... I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few
Defenders, handed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a
Few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a try
Right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We
Were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with
Which to win the match and......... '

"Ahhh...." she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed,
Pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her
Skirt.

My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and
She was wet !!!!



She whispered, 'Well tell me this, Mr. Rugby Man: Have you ever felt
Such a perfect c *nt?'

'I certainly have,' I answered, 'I missed the kick.'

our players couldnt get in the town team you,ve gotta be kidding.theres plenty town players i hope dont wear the chocbluegold.


Offline haven94

  • Haven Immortal
  • ********
    • Posts: 12490
Reply #1 on: 20 Sep 2011, 09:30:03 am
The other day I was in an empty pub having a quiet beer by myself.

The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid
Eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an
Hourglass figure

Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top.. I could
See she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on
Show.

After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I
Taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close
To me and sitting down.

She said 'Hi', and I said 'Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took
My hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and
Down.

'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. ....

'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I'll bet you've
Never felt this good before.'

'Well, I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked
To play for the school 1st. XV in the Public School Finals in front of
A crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.'

I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would
Get up and go but she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the
Front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my
Hand into her pert, perfect breast.

'How do you feel now,' she purred.

'OK' I replied.

Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt
THIS good before!'

Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that
Game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the
Match The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field,
Where I caught it... I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few
Defenders, handed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a
Few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a try
Right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We
Were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with
Which to win the match and......... '

"Ahhh...." she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed,
Pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her
Skirt.

My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and
She was wet !!!!



She whispered, 'Well tell me this, Mr. Rugby Man: Have you ever felt
Such a perfect c *nt?'

'I certainly have,' I answered, 'I missed the kick.'
nice one  :D :D :D :D :D
born and bred haven.