little bit of humour

[puppetmaster]

Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a workington town fan and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?

A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures

[puppetmaster]

Newsflash:

Thieves broke into the home of Worzel and stole two books.

"The thing that really upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!"

[Monte2carlo]

Colouring books, nah it was paper and crayons with scribbling on about attack and defend

Roll on Leeds,  is it on radio cumbria i will denfinetly be listening to that game if its on

Monte

 

[puppetmaster]

You're trapped in a room with a Grizzly Bear, a deadly Rattlesnake, and a Townie. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Townie.
 Twice.

A wee fella hands over a ?50 note to the turnstyle operator at Derwent Park
Fella: Two please.
Turnstyle Operator: Will that be Forwards or Backs, sir?

 Q: If you see a Townie on a bike, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bike...

Q: Why do Townies have Moustaches?
A: So they can look like their Mothers.

Q. Two Townies jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground first?.
A. Who cares!

Q: What do you get when you cross a Town fan with a pig?
A: I don't know, there are some things a pig just won't do.
  ;

[Monte2carlo]

Big fella,

You have just be invited to the Kenny shepherd club i'll nominate you to champ.

What do you call a jambo in a suit
The accused

What do you call a jambo in a bmw
A car thief

Monte

[haven1985]

Q. Two townies jump off a cliff, who wins?
A. Society.
 
Q. What does a townie girl use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.
 
Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie girl?
A. Granny.
 
Q. What do you call a townie in a box?
A. Innit.
 
Q. What do you call a townie in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.
 
Q. What do you say to a townie in a suit?
A. "Will the defendant please rise"
 
Q. Why did the townie cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.
 
Q. What do you call a townie girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
 
Q. If you're driving and see a townie on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.

[haven1985]

Q. What's the first question during a townie quiz night?
A. What you looking at.
 
Q. Why are townies like slinkey's?
A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs
 
Q. Two townies in a car without any music, who's driving?
A. The polliceman!
 
Q. How do you get a hundred townies in a phonebox?
A. Paint 3 stripes on it.
 
Q. What do you call a hundred townies at the bottom of the river?
A. A start.
 
Q. Where do you take a townie girl for a decent night out?
A. Up the ar * e.
 
Q. Why is 3 townies going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
A. Because a nova has 4 seats.
 
Q. What do you call a townie with 9 gcse's?
A. A liar.
 
Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?
A. Bigmac please.

[haven hora]

HaHa bewtys there gavin

[Bkenz92]

Who's the best looking lass in Workington ?

A tourist

[Monte2carlo]

What do you call a jameater in a detached house

A burgular

Monte